How to trust again after being cheated on

                                                                       
If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know how hard it can be both emotionally and mentally. You’re wrecked entirely, and the trust and faith you once had in your significant other is now gone. Cheating and infidelity are two of the most common relationship breakers, but their effects linger long after the relationship is gone. If you have been cheated on recently or in the past, here are some tips to start trusting again and finding a new and more fulfilling relationship.

Allow yourself to be emotional
After you’ve been betrayed in a relationship, you have to give yourself plenty of time and space to be emotional. Even if you’re the type of woman to let things build up inside, now isn’t the time to try to act tough. Face it, you’ve been betrayed by someone you thought cared and loved you. It’s okay to be mad, cry, and to be less than your happy self. Letting yourself be emotional is a big part of healing.

Let it all out
Aside from crying and letting your emotions out physically, consider writing a letter or keeping a journal of your feelings. Crying is helpful, but being able to write out your emotions feels that much better. Write a letter to yourself. Or write a letter to your ex who cheated on you, just as a way to release your emotions. Tuck your writings away and read them again when you’re ready.

Don’t blame yourself
After being cheated on, a lot of women tend to blame themselves. They think that they did something wrong or didn’t do enough to keep their spouse from cheating. In the end, cheating is never your fault. He made the decision to do what he did instead of going about it the right way. No matter what he says or what that voice in the back of your head is trying to tell you, it isn’t your fault.

Talk to someone you trust
If you’re not one to write your emotions down, confide in someone you are extremely close to. Your mother, your sister, a close cousin, or your best friend, now is the time to really rely on them to give you a crying shoulder. Talk about your emotions and your thoughts, and don’t be afraid to be raw about it. If you’re angry and sad, let it show.

Look to those in healthy relationships
Are your parents still married? Do you have a close friend who has been in a relationship for a while? Though in the beginning you may feel jealous of these people, in the end it’s best to look at the healthy and successful relationships in your life. This way you don’t allow yourself to be sucked into a cloud of negativity. Realize that relationships do work out, and not every man will be a cheater.

Realise that no two men are the same
While some men may have a lot in common, the fact is that not every man out there is the same. Not every man will cheat, and not every man is looking to go out there and be a heart breaker. Don’t let yourself slip into the mindset that every guy is out to hurt you and that you’ll never find a healthy, happy, and trustworthy relationship. You will!

Don’t let the insecurities build up
Aside from blaming yourself, after being betrayed and cheated on, you may start to feel a sense of insecurity. Relationships are known to keep a person feeling secure and confident, and when that bond is suddenly broken, insecurities can come on quickly. Don’t look at yourself in a negative light after having your trust broken. You’re still an amazingly beautiful women that deserves a great man.

Give yourself time
During this time of healing and learning to trust again, the one thing you’ll want to focus on is giving yourself time. You won’t feel better in a few days, and you won’t be able to trust someone in a few weeks. It takes time to completely heal and to feel right again in order to start trusting. There’s no set time for when you’ll “just get over it.”

Be willing to move forward
Before you can ever start to feel better, you have to be entirely willing to move forward. This means letting your emotions and thoughts out, and letting them go. You have to be willing and wanting to learn to trust again. You have to have the strength and drive to want to find a better man. Without being willing and ready, you won’t get a lot of healing done.

Embrace being alone
It’s always nice to be in a relationship. But, when the relationship is toxic and hurtful, it really is best to be by yourself. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship that lacks trust. Instead of dwelling, move on and embrace being single. Go out and do things for yourself. Hit up the spa. Go have a girl’s night. Being single isn’t a bad thing.

Don’t try to make sense of things
After being cheated on, a lot of women will try to make sense of the whole situation. But, the fact is that you really can’t make sense out of something so entirely senseless. Don’t sit around and try to piece things together or try to figure out what went wrong. The fact is that he betrayed and broke you. Don’t worry about putting the pieces together. Allow yourself to move on.

•Culled from madamenoire.com